What are we doing!?

So I had a conversation with my mother the other day, and I realized that the morals and values she raised me with don’t really seem to be how she believes. My brother overheard her and her boyfriend having sex, so she had to have a delicate conversation with him about what we do with our door closed, and how it is private.

I think she handled it pretty well, but I feel like she isn’t focusing on her relationship with God when she is handling things as a parent. God doesn’t want us to have premarital sex, so why does she justify it? I grew up hearing that we shouldn’t smoke, don’t do drugs, and sleeping with someone other than the person we were married to was wrong in God’s eyes… so why did my mother have sex with basically all of her boyfriends, smoke pot my whole life, and smoke cigarettes for about 30 years now.

I talked to a person that I look up to as a woman, and she basically said that why would a parent say, “Go ahead and smoke, have promiscuous sex, and do some drugs while you’re at it!” But she said that she couldn’t imagine marrying someone that she hadn’t slept with first. I just feel like I grew up my whole life hearing my parents tell me not to do things that they not only did, but that they did right in front of me or at least while I was awake in our house.

I am by far not a perfect parent, and am open to admitting that fact. I smoke, I had a child out of wedlock, and sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s not ok to lie. I don’t currently have premarital sex, and I am completely fine with that. Honestly it keeps things much simpler. We aren’t worried about whether or not we are “getting it” or feeling bad because one of us is tired or just doesn’t feel like it. I don’t think it’s necessary to “test drive the car before I buy it.” I honestly believe that if you love someone enough to make love to them, then you love them enough to marry them. If you really love them, then I don’t think when you finally consecrate your marriage that it will be “bad.” By the time you actually get married, you have probably been affectionate in some way.

Since I live this way, I feel fine raising my daughter this way. I used to think that it was probable that my daughter will experiment with sex, drugs, and the like… but why? Why is it acceptable and almost expected for our kids to do things like have premarital sex, and party?