Now Hiring,,,, professional butt kicker needed immediately

So if you are one of the few and proud that read my posts as I post them, you will notice LARGE gaps of time where I don't post. Like, months. That's usually when I'm swamped with work, or baby stuff, or SOMETHING. But the excuses must stop. That's what I'm trying to do by hiring a professional butt kicker. I need someone to email me every week and remind me to post something. Anyone who knows how to send an email is surely qualified. Shoot me an email, or comment below, and the hiring process will begin.

Well for a short period I didn't have internet, so for the last few months, I have been compiling un-posted blog posts, so I wouldn't forget anything... so this particular one is a preface to the bloggurgitation that is about to happen. It may appear that I just have massive amounts of time today to devote to telling you my unedited life story, rest assured, I'm busy as ever (... ok well maybe not as busy as EVER... but still quite busy) I am just posting some much elated material.

Love and procrastination to all,

Lacy

Potty Training Woes (and first CONTEST... everyone likes free stuff!)

UGH!!!!! We are working on potty training right now and it is a NIGHTMARE! Let me clarify, this isn’t a left-the-house-and-forgot-to-put-on-pants type of nightmare, this is a left-the-house-and-forgot-to-get-dressed-altogether-and-discovered-you-are-now-blue-and-have-a-furry-tail type of dream.

When I was younger, the women in my family loved to brag about the fact that when they decided I should be potty trained, they just put panties on me one day and *poof!* I was potty trained. Only this weekend did my mom inform me that my aunt and grandma devoted a whole weekend to staying home with me and making sure I tried to go potty every half hour or so. I was like, “Ya, Mom! Thanks for leaving that LITTLE piece of information out for 20 YEARS!!!”

I am convinced that I have the most potty training resistant kid in the entire world. Everyone keeps telling me to just put underwear on her and the feeling of being wet or having poop just hanging there with nowhere to go will flip that light switch on and she will just “get it.” Nope. She doesn’t care, not even a little. She just tells me afterwards that she needs to change her Dora panties, and THIS time she wants to wear the yellow princess ones. (I swear, it’s like a game to her.) Meanwhile, I am washing fecal matter out of her underpants, and drying about 3 pairs a day on the side of the tub because if I used the washing machine to wash her underwear everyday, I would go broke and never have enough detergent for all of the other clothes I need to wash.

So now it’s your turn, dear readers. Pass on your potty guru advice to me because, I swear, I will have grey hair before I turn 25 if this monster baby keeps this up! I know you have a little girl SOMEWHERE in your life that you can pull some experience from. (little sister, niece, creepy neighbor’s kid…) Anyway, I’m thinking of doing a contest, whoever gives me the winning advice gets something wonderful (I just haven’t decided what that wonderful something is yet, maybe the Play Doh extractor shoes??? SOMEONE might as well get some wear out of them, so if you are a shoe size 10 lady, love shoes, and have some stellar potty training advice… fill me in and I will send you some cute shoes!)

Peace! (and potties)

I'm lonely...

So, I feel lonely. Have I been gone so long that my most loyal readers have stopped checking in? I'm still heeeeere! I've just been busy being homeless and such...  please come back to me, I missed you guys!

Lalalove,
Lacy





Also, I'd like to do a poll, but I need to know I'll have readers to vote on it!!! so if you could leave a quick comment about how you are still alive, too I will get on to polling you!!!!

Play Doh extractor shoes

Did any of you ever have a Play Doh extractor? You know the ones, you put the dough into the space, and squeeze the handle and squeeze it through the little heart shapes or star shapes... basically into star or heart spaghetti. Well, my feet feel kind of like that Play Doh in these shoes.

Cute wedges



Can you tell I took these in my cubicle?



Arent' they soooo cute? Dont get me wrong, they're devil shoes... but they are ADORABLE devil shoes!

*side note-- I just went out for my last break of the day and this girl just complemented me on my "Play Doh extractor shoes"

But I need to wear them because I got them at Tarjay for $6!!! So you can see how they are so cute, and a GREAT deal, plus I needed them to go along with the dress Awesome Guy's mom got me to wear to his cousin's wedding. I guess I'll just keep wearing them and pray that my feet don't come through the holes looking like linguini...

Peace!

What are we doing!?

So I had a conversation with my mother the other day, and I realized that the morals and values she raised me with don’t really seem to be how she believes. My brother overheard her and her boyfriend having sex, so she had to have a delicate conversation with him about what we do with our door closed, and how it is private.

I think she handled it pretty well, but I feel like she isn’t focusing on her relationship with God when she is handling things as a parent. God doesn’t want us to have premarital sex, so why does she justify it? I grew up hearing that we shouldn’t smoke, don’t do drugs, and sleeping with someone other than the person we were married to was wrong in God’s eyes… so why did my mother have sex with basically all of her boyfriends, smoke pot my whole life, and smoke cigarettes for about 30 years now.

I talked to a person that I look up to as a woman, and she basically said that why would a parent say, “Go ahead and smoke, have promiscuous sex, and do some drugs while you’re at it!” But she said that she couldn’t imagine marrying someone that she hadn’t slept with first. I just feel like I grew up my whole life hearing my parents tell me not to do things that they not only did, but that they did right in front of me or at least while I was awake in our house.

I am by far not a perfect parent, and am open to admitting that fact. I smoke, I had a child out of wedlock, and sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s not ok to lie. I don’t currently have premarital sex, and I am completely fine with that. Honestly it keeps things much simpler. We aren’t worried about whether or not we are “getting it” or feeling bad because one of us is tired or just doesn’t feel like it. I don’t think it’s necessary to “test drive the car before I buy it.” I honestly believe that if you love someone enough to make love to them, then you love them enough to marry them. If you really love them, then I don’t think when you finally consecrate your marriage that it will be “bad.” By the time you actually get married, you have probably been affectionate in some way.

Since I live this way, I feel fine raising my daughter this way. I used to think that it was probable that my daughter will experiment with sex, drugs, and the like… but why? Why is it acceptable and almost expected for our kids to do things like have premarital sex, and party?

ummm

I missed you guys! I have been so god awful busy with work. Like, ten and eleven hour days. So Amazing Guy and I are for sure going to get married. I have decided, and as soon as he asks it will probably be about a year from then, cause this girl has gotta plan an awesome wedding. He has decided we are going to do our honeymoon in Greece. Which is my dream vacation destination.
Anyway I have moved to a hotel with my daughter which is nerve wracking, but at least I'm providing a roof over her head! anyway, I was just giving yall a quick update!

He LOVES me!!!!!

Tonight Awesome Guy said he loves me!!!!!! I feel like nobody in the whole world could have meant it more... ever. Other than my daughter, he is seriously everything to me. I thought I loved Audrey's dad, and I seriously may have, but now it's hard to remember. A little piece of me will probably always love him, or who he used to be, a little, but it al seems so foggy now. I love him! I can't stop thinking about him!!!!! Also, every song that comes on when we are together is perfect for the moment, its like a soundtrack to our relationship, its creepy sometimes. Anyway, I am going to obsess over the fact that HE LOVES ME!!!! see ya later!