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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Potty Training Woes (and first CONTEST... everyone likes free stuff!)

UGH!!!!! We are working on potty training right now and it is a NIGHTMARE! Let me clarify, this isn’t a left-the-house-and-forgot-to-put-on-pants type of nightmare, this is a left-the-house-and-forgot-to-get-dressed-altogether-and-discovered-you-are-now-blue-and-have-a-furry-tail type of dream.
When I was younger, the women in my family loved to brag about the fact that when they decided I should be potty trained, they just put panties on me one day and *poof!* I was potty trained. Only this weekend did my mom inform me that my aunt and grandma devoted a whole weekend to staying home with me and making sure I tried to go potty every half hour or so. I was like, “Ya, Mom! Thanks for leaving that LITTLE piece of information out for 20 YEARS!!!”
I am convinced that I have the most potty training resistant kid in the entire world. Everyone keeps telling me to just put underwear on her and the feeling of being wet or having poop just hanging there with nowhere to go will flip that light switch on and she will just “get it.” Nope. She doesn’t care, not even a little. She just tells me afterwards that she needs to change her Dora panties, and THIS time she wants to wear the yellow princess ones. (I swear, it’s like a game to her.) Meanwhile, I am washing fecal matter out of her underpants, and drying about 3 pairs a day on the side of the tub because if I used the washing machine to wash her underwear everyday, I would go broke and never have enough detergent for all of the other clothes I need to wash.
So now it’s your turn, dear readers. Pass on your potty guru advice to me because, I swear, I will have grey hair before I turn 25 if this monster baby keeps this up! I know you have a little girl SOMEWHERE in your life that you can pull some experience from. (little sister, niece, creepy neighbor’s kid…) Anyway, I’m thinking of doing a contest, whoever gives me the winning advice gets something wonderful (I just haven’t decided what that wonderful something is yet, maybe the Play Doh extractor shoes??? SOMEONE might as well get some wear out of them, so if you are a shoe size 10 lady, love shoes, and have some stellar potty training advice… fill me in and I will send you some cute shoes!)

Peace! (and potties)

Friday, September 2, 2011

I'm lonely...

So, I feel lonely. Have I been gone so long that my most loyal readers have stopped checking in? I'm still heeeeere! I've just been busy being homeless and such...  please come back to me, I missed you guys!


Also, I'd like to do a poll, but I need to know I'll have readers to vote on it!!! so if you could leave a quick comment about how you are still alive, too I will get on to polling you!!!!