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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Potty Training Woes (and first CONTEST... everyone likes free stuff!)

UGH!!!!! We are working on potty training right now and it is a NIGHTMARE! Let me clarify, this isn’t a left-the-house-and-forgot-to-put-on-pants type of nightmare, this is a left-the-house-and-forgot-to-get-dressed-altogether-and-discovered-you-are-now-blue-and-have-a-furry-tail type of dream.
When I was younger, the women in my family loved to brag about the fact that when they decided I should be potty trained, they just put panties on me one day and *poof!* I was potty trained. Only this weekend did my mom inform me that my aunt and grandma devoted a whole weekend to staying home with me and making sure I tried to go potty every half hour or so. I was like, “Ya, Mom! Thanks for leaving that LITTLE piece of information out for 20 YEARS!!!”
I am convinced that I have the most potty training resistant kid in the entire world. Everyone keeps telling me to just put underwear on her and the feeling of being wet or having poop just hanging there with nowhere to go will flip that light switch on and she will just “get it.” Nope. She doesn’t care, not even a little. She just tells me afterwards that she needs to change her Dora panties, and THIS time she wants to wear the yellow princess ones. (I swear, it’s like a game to her.) Meanwhile, I am washing fecal matter out of her underpants, and drying about 3 pairs a day on the side of the tub because if I used the washing machine to wash her underwear everyday, I would go broke and never have enough detergent for all of the other clothes I need to wash.
So now it’s your turn, dear readers. Pass on your potty guru advice to me because, I swear, I will have grey hair before I turn 25 if this monster baby keeps this up! I know you have a little girl SOMEWHERE in your life that you can pull some experience from. (little sister, niece, creepy neighbor’s kid…) Anyway, I’m thinking of doing a contest, whoever gives me the winning advice gets something wonderful (I just haven’t decided what that wonderful something is yet, maybe the Play Doh extractor shoes??? SOMEONE might as well get some wear out of them, so if you are a shoe size 10 lady, love shoes, and have some stellar potty training advice… fill me in and I will send you some cute shoes!)

Peace! (and potties)

Friday, September 2, 2011

I'm lonely...

So, I feel lonely. Have I been gone so long that my most loyal readers have stopped checking in? I'm still heeeeere! I've just been busy being homeless and such...  please come back to me, I missed you guys!

Lalalove,
Lacy





Also, I'd like to do a poll, but I need to know I'll have readers to vote on it!!! so if you could leave a quick comment about how you are still alive, too I will get on to polling you!!!!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Play Doh extractor shoes

Did any of you ever have a Play Doh extractor? You know the ones, you put the dough into the space, and squeeze the handle and squeeze it through the little heart shapes or star shapes... basically into star or heart spaghetti. Well, my feet feel kind of like that Play Doh in these shoes.


Cute wedges




Can you tell I took these in my cubicle?

Arent' they soooo cute? Dont get me wrong, they're devil shoes... but they are ADORABLE devil shoes!

*side note-- I just went out for my last break of the day and this girl just complemented me on my "Play Doh extractor shoes"

But I need to wear them because I got them at Tarjay for $6!!! So you can see how they are so cute, and a GREAT deal, plus I needed them to go along with the dress Awesome Guy's mom got me to wear to his cousin's wedding. I guess I'll just keep wearing them and pray that my feet don't come through the holes looking like linguini...

Peace!




What are we doing!?

So I had a conversation with my mother the other day, and I realized that the morals and values she raised me with don’t really seem to be how she believes. My brother overheard her and her boyfriend having sex, so she had to have a delicate conversation with him about what we do with our door closed, and how it is private.

I think she handled it pretty well, but I feel like she isn’t focusing on her relationship with God when she is handling things as a parent. God doesn’t want us to have premarital sex, so why does she justify it? I grew up hearing that we shouldn’t smoke, don’t do drugs, and sleeping with someone other than the person we were married to was wrong in God’s eyes… so why did my mother have sex with basically all of her boyfriends, smoke pot my whole life, and smoke cigarettes for about 30 years now.

I talked to a person that I look up to as a woman, and she basically said that why would a parent say, “Go ahead and smoke, have promiscuous sex, and do some drugs while you’re at it!” But she said that she couldn’t imagine marrying someone that she hadn’t slept with first. I just feel like I grew up my whole life hearing my parents tell me not to do things that they not only did, but that they did right in front of me or at least while I was awake in our house.

I am by far not a perfect parent, and am open to admitting that fact. I smoke, I had a child out of wedlock, and sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s not ok to lie. I don’t currently have premarital sex, and I am completely fine with that. Honestly it keeps things much simpler. We aren’t worried about whether or not we are “getting it” or feeling bad because one of us is tired or just doesn’t feel like it. I don’t think it’s necessary to “test drive the car before I buy it.” I honestly believe that if you love someone enough to make love to them, then you love them enough to marry them. If you really love them, then I don’t think when you finally consecrate your marriage that it will be “bad.” By the time you actually get married, you have probably been affectionate in some way.

Since I live this way, I feel fine raising my daughter this way. I used to think that it was probable that my daughter will experiment with sex, drugs, and the like… but why? Why is it acceptable and almost expected for our kids to do things like have premarital sex, and party?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

ummm

I missed you guys! I have been so god awful busy with work. Like, ten and eleven hour days. So Amazing Guy and I are for sure going to get married. I have decided, and as soon as he asks it will probably be about a year from then, cause this girl has gotta plan an awesome wedding. He has decided we are going to do our honeymoon in Greece. Which is my dream vacation destination.
Anyway I have moved to a hotel with my daughter which is nerve wracking, but at least I'm providing a roof over her head! anyway, I was just giving yall a quick update!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

He LOVES me!!!!!

Tonight Awesome Guy said he loves me!!!!!! I feel like nobody in the whole world could have meant it more... ever. Other than my daughter, he is seriously everything to me. I thought I loved Audrey's dad, and I seriously may have, but now it's hard to remember. A little piece of me will probably always love him, or who he used to be, a little, but it al seems so foggy now. I love him! I can't stop thinking about him!!!!! Also, every song that comes on when we are together is perfect for the moment, its like a soundtrack to our relationship, its creepy sometimes. Anyway, I am going to obsess over the fact that HE LOVES ME!!!! see ya later!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Weddings

          So you know when they say when you meet the right person, you will just know? Well I know. I love Amazing Guy and I am positive that he is the man that I will marry. He treats me better than I ever imagined someone could treat me. We actually have healthy arguments, instead of knock out drag out fights. He won't tell me that he loves me because he is too nervous that he will say it and not mean it, but I know he does. If you could see the way he looks at me, and the way he holds me, you would be positive, too.

          I tell him all the time, "You know, I'm gonna marry you, right?." But the funny thing is, this song by Colbie Callait always comes on when we are together. It's called "I Do",  and I listen to the radio all day and never hear it. Also, this time of year is when all the wedding conventions are... so all day I hear wedding convention commercials and jewelry store commercials and it's just hilarious to me.

          But he says he wants to date someone for a year, and have a year long engagement, which all sounded great to me. I am now thinking I am not so excited about this. I mean' I don't want to marry him right now... but I don't exactly want to get married right now, but I don't really know if I want to wait 22 more months. I can see why a year long engagement makes sense, it takes FOREVER to plan out a wedding, at least it would for someone as meticulous as I am. I think when you are absolutely certain that you want to marry someone and you are fairly sure that they will say yes when you bring out that pretty little ring, then you should do it.

          I tell him that I love him all the time because I never want people guessing how I feel about them, you never know when you're gonna go... I would hate for someone I loved not to know it if I died tomorrow. But it's adorable because we catch ourselves planning out what we want our wedding to be like and he seriously asked me the other day where I would want to take our honeymoon. Also, he told me that the engagement ring he gives the girl he will marry (i.e. me), will be his mother's engagement ring... but he told me I could pick out my wedding band. Well yesterday a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to run a couple errands with her and help her have a yard sale. I agreed, but the first errand we ran was going to the jewelry store to have a ring her mother gave her re sized. I was looking around and noticed this pretty wedding band that had a diamond every quarter inch or so. I jokingly sent him a picture of it and said, "I found my wedding band!" I thought he would freak out a bit, but instead he was trying to figure out which ring in the picture it was. I had to explain that I was kidding (well... mostly kidding) but later that night he asked me what jewelery store it was that I saw it. I secretly did my happy dance in my head...

Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall

         So, sorry I havent been on in a while, life has been wild. I work constantly. And I am completely crazy about my boyfriend so I spend every extra second I have with him. but the other day I fell down the stairs carrying my daughter to bed and landed on her head. I was so scared and nervous that I didnt even realize how bad I knocked up my body. But I would like to take a minute to brag about my amazing boyfriend.

         I was hanging out with one of my friends and decided that my daughter was really fussy and should go to bed. I got her ready to go to sleep and we headed downstairs. Then I slipped about 2 steps down and fell/rolled all the way down and over the side and landed on my baby's head. I just started screaming for my friend to call the hospital. Then I remembered that I had let the babysitter keep the car seat. I called my boyfriend and asked (well begged) that he bring one of his sister's kid's car seats. He didnt know what was going on but he did. My neighbors came over and checked her out, told me what signs to look for as far as concussions and broken bones, and tried to help calm her down. She didnt until we were at the hospital.
Amazing Guy had to take the kids back home, but came immediately back.

          He stayed at the hospital from about almost 9 until about 3 am. He took great care of me. On the way back to the room we were going to be in, he told me that I should tell them he is my husband or fiance or something so they will let him stay with me and Audrey. When I had to put the hospital gown on, he didn't look. He is so  amazing and treats me with respect. I haven't had someone that respected my body in a very long time.

          They wanted to get some X-Rays and a CT scan of Audrey's head. When they finally came for us, they wanted us to both do it at the same time so they said "Dad, or boyfriend, or whoever you are, we would like you to take the baby for her scan." Neither of us tried to correct the nurse. (To be honest, I sometimes wish Amazing Guy was Audrey's dad. Not that her dad doesn't love her more than anything, but Amazing Guy has more time for her and he is responsible, and caring, and loves her... all the things you want in a baby daddy, just sayin) So he took her to get the scan and when I got back from my million X-Rays they were there waiting for me and I was greeted with a kiss from my man and my baby in my arms.

         So we went back to the room and waited for our results and Amazing Guy kept the baby awake (because we still didn't know if she had a concussion) because she was on my stomach and I couldn't see around to make sure she wasn't sleeping. I decided that I am absolutely in love with him and I will marry him. Seriously guys, I can't let go of him. You can't have him, I feel like I finally get to be treated well. I stil don't think I deserve someone THIS awesome. But he says he doesn't know why I like him this much.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Being a mom rocks!

      So today A and I were taking a bath (yes, I still take a bath with my daughter, I think it is a great opportunity to play with tub toys, plus we both get clean so I don't have to kneel over the side of a tub in a rain poncho, and she doesn't have to sit in a shower getting pelted in the face every time she wants to look up and talk to me) and I'm pretty sure my plans of raising a mini rock star are coming true! She asked me to make a shampoo mohawk and kept trying to make peace signs and give me the rock horns \m/


      Also at her last birthday she wore a tutu, most were thinking "princess-ballerina-sparklebutt" but I knew she was thinking "Man, if mom had only put me in a pair of fishnets and some awesome baby combat boots, I could totally rock this tutu..." 

      I keep thinking about how awesome my baby is. She is completely a braniac-genious! She sings anything you could think of, she has FULL BLOWN conversations, and knows the quadratic equation by heart.... ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating that last part a tiny bit... Anyway, I have the best baddest kid in the world, at least in MY opinion...

Friday, April 15, 2011

I don't know who I am...

So let's just get all the chips on the table. I am manic depressive and well on my way to being bi polar. Right now I am having a major mental crisis. I don't know who I am. I was this one crazy person when I was with Michael (my daughters father), and now with Awesome Guy I feel lke I am this completely different person. I did some crazy stuff when I was with Michael, I was mean and hurtful, and cut him with my words. I got physical and I turned into this completely scary monstrous version of myself. I am not saying the good times weren't good, they were just surpassed by how bad the bad times were.

With Awesome Guy I am sweet, and smart, and funny, and I usually only have nice things to say. I am terrified of how fast I can change. I know it has something to do with my meds. It's like when I take them I have horribly strange dreams, and I reason better, and I really am a better version of myself. The problem is that I honestly want to feel my own emotions. So I don't take them so often. But when I go even 2 days without them I turn into a very scary version of myself. I don't get so aggressive now, I just get very, very low, and depressed.

I don't even really know what I want or how to figure it out. I want Awesome Guy to know who I really am, and he says he does... but I really don't feel like he does. It's like he doesn't get it. I want to tell him about all the places I have been. I am this straightedge, single mom now.... but I haven't always been her. I have had a meaningful, yet short relationship with a guy that we both knew would be a dead end, but I just felt like I needed to get out there and sleep with someone right from the jump. So I did. And that ended quickly. I had a 5 year relationship with the guy that I just knew I would marry... guess not.

Truth is, I really have been this happy before. I was for a couple years, but then we had a baby, and we moved in together, and it all sort of fell apart. Now the feelings and memories I had, I wonder if they were really ever real. I think they were, if not... I fought long and hard for something that was never even achievable. Which is yet another horrible feeling.

I just had a talk with Awesome Guy about how I feel like one person around him, and this completely different person around everyone else. He said that he doesn't know who he is either. I want him to know who I am, which is impossible without him literally being in my brain and accessing every memory or thought I ever had. I don't even think I know how to be normal. UGH!


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Hello hello again!

Hey guys!
so I know my posting has seriously slowed down, but I have been very, very busy! My best friend and I are trying to rent a house so we can raise our two b-e-a-utiful children together. There probably isn't anything cooler than 2 awesome moms and their awesome kids in one house. We think we may have found one, but I'm afraid that it is going to be a horrible idea. It's sooo far away from where I'm from, and essentially it means moving back to where my daughter's father lives... ugh! but the house is GORGEOUS! I mean seriously, the backsplash in the kitchen has glass tiling, and the bathroom is this pretty grey-ish blue. The outside of the house looks horrible, but the inside really is perfect for what we need. Awesome guy is really upset because I see him an average of twice a day. sometimes more... sometimes less... but if I move out that way I probably won't even see him every day. We would make it work...


The next reason I haven't been around much is because I have been spending as much time as possible with Awesome Guy. I told him that I love him, but he isn't ready yet. That's cool. I'll wait, cause I know he does, and eventually he will get up the courage to say it out loud. We have talked about the fact that I am not going to have sex before I'm married, which in true Awesome Guy nature... he completely agreed! AWESOME!  He seriously has my heart and I can't wait to see where this all goes... He loves my daughter, he likes my friends, he can even stand my family. If you knew the guys I dated before, none of them could stand my mom or brother, they usually got frustrated with how much time I spend with my friends, and I didn't have a daughter before Awesome Guy... so I'm pretty sure anyone would like her (she's adorable!), but loving someone else's kid is a whole other story.

Welp, I am sorry to say this but I'm pretty much praying that the lady doesn't want us as tenants because, as much as I like this house... I think it is waaay too far from school and work for me. I'll talk to yall later! COMMENT ON THIS!!!! I want to know what you think!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Gotta love some benjamin...
Ben just left... We were just laying in eachothers arms... It was pretty beautiful... And i made some awesome mesaluna ravioli with a lemon, garlic, cream sauce

Thursday, March 31, 2011

He is heeeeeere

So much has gone on...

Oh guys!!!
So much has gone on. First, Michael has decided he doesnt really want a family, at least not with me. I usually would have begged him to come back, but I realized that I am over all this drama. So I immediately grabbed up my bestie and we went out dancing. I was supposed to meet this awesome guy for a drink, but it took us so long to get out that he didn't really have time. (More about Awesome Guy soon, as in... in this post)

So me and Chelle danced our faces off and I ran into some of my friends from high school and college, and had a blast. After the clubs, we went to a hotel my friend had rented for the night, and we watched some TV and just talked. Then Chelle and I went to McD's for some delicious after party food. All in all, it was a great night.

Back to Awesome Guy... we met when I was working at Pizza Hut about 3 years ago and he asked me for my number. I gave it to him because it seemed to take a lot of courage to ask. When I returned his call, I explained that I was in a deeply committed relationship and that I thought he was really brave, but I wanted to be friends. He was completely cool with that, so I knew he respected my relationship (i.e. Michael).

Flash forward 3 years, I got knocked on my ass by Baby Daddy and there was Awesome Guy! He took me on my first official date... well "not" date and we have seen eachother every day, except when I was in Arkansas (more to come on Arkansas... dif post), and even then we texted from when we woke up until we went to bed.

Last night he KISSED me!!!!! it was amazing, I'll spare you the gory details, but I def couldn't stop smiling. Actually, I'm smiling now!

More posts on Amazing Guy coming soon... I hope!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Reconnecting with old friends +Dancing on 4th st. With my friends till 3 + brakefast at mc donalds = great night! I needed this...

Friday, March 18, 2011

Video Bar

hey just thought I would try to direct your attention to the right where my video blog is. I put it there for a reason people! my personal fav is the acid lizard (click on "Drinking Out Of Cups") if you are easily offended, then you probably shouldn't click it, but it is sooo funny and worth hearing the multitudes of curse words. Anyway, if you would kindly direct your attention to my Video Bar, it would be greatly appreciated! I think it would give you more insight into who I am.
Happy vid watching!
I have been stuck in blog world and finally made it outside. It feels so good and is so pretty out here. Gotta love the smell of fresh cut grass!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

OOOOOK!

Here goes... I have a friend that I always considered a BEST friend, but now she seems so busy and never has time for me. I guess she discovered a new group of friends and is busy with work and school, but today she isn't working and just had 1 test so she had a short day at school and now is headed to the lake. This all probably sounds trivial to you guys but there was a point when I would have been invited whether she was with friends or family. I wonder if it is because I have a baby now? I am still a 21 yr old! I still like fun, and music, and movies and all the same things I liked before, only now I have a baby, so I like even more things. Having a baby doesn't mean I just suddenly get lame. Now that I think about it, I don't think it is because I have a baby because she has other friends with children that she still does things with, so now I am really confused. Blah! She even blows me off for video games. VIDEO GAMES! There was a time when we were younger (I guess) that I was invited on Spring Break with her and her family, and we would hang out every day. I am realistic. I know with me at home with the baby and her working and going to school there isn't tome to see each other every day, and we probably wouldn't even want to, but at least once a month? is that really too much to ask for? We live in the same town, it's not like we have to figure out a gas situation or something, just finding time for one another. Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is all just a matter of prioritizing. I was in a LDR with my boyfriend for the first 3 years, anytime anyone would tell me that they "just don't have time for a girlfriend/boyfriend," I would remind that you have as much time as me, if you find someone you want to spend time with, then you make time for them. It is really THAT simple.

So, onto my religious ramblings. I have been wanting to post this since I started blogging, but have been too afraid because I don't want to lose my followers. I have decided to stay true to myself and my beliefs and if you are offended by what I am about to write, please just respect me. If I lose any followers, I will inevitably  be sad. Anyway, I believe that being gay is a sin. The bible states it very clearly, and even goes as far as to compare it to sleeping with an animal. With that said, some of my favorite friends are gay. i do believe they are going to Hell, but I love the person, not all of their choices. Being gay doesn't make you any less of a human, you still have feelings, and a heartbeat, and a brain. But I believe that often times when you are living without Jesus in your life, you love according to what feels right, and not what is right according to scripture. The Devil puts thoughts into our minds and if we entertain them, then we sin. If we consciously try to live a life that is right to God, then we won't sin. Now, everyone sins, but we sin when we lend our ears to the Devil.
As i have previously posted, my boyfriend's family goes to a very strict church and when my friend is in town, they won't even let her in to use their bathroom. She is a HUMAN and deserves all the same dignities that you should give any other human. Anyway, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend's grandma the other day and she started in about my friend and said "I know that your friend is gay, but you know it is wrong, right?" I was floored! I said "Is her being gay any worse than me and your grandson living together and having a baby without being married?" All she could say was "What you guys did is more natural." A sin is a sin! I am no better than any sinner on this earth. Whether you lie, or cheat on your girlfriend, or sleep with someone of the same sex, or have a baby out of wedlock. My sin is no cleaner than any other sin. I hope I never judge someone else like I am better than them.
I really hope that you guys understand that what I am saying comes from my heart and I am not trying to be mean spirited. I love everyone, and hope that I never treat anyone any different than I think I should be treated.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Ugh!

So I can't get enough of this song called "Manifesto by City Harmonic", it is pretty much amazing. Also "This is the Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli and "Secrets" by OneRepublic. I am definitely a music person.
So there is all this stuff going on within my family. First, last night my boyfriend got fired last night, which other than wondering where money is going to come from, would have been OK, but now he won't talk to me about when the next time he will come see his daughter and me... which is, frankly, infuriating. All he was worried about was cleaning his house (which wouldn't be too bad of an idea if we didn't have so much to talk about).
Next, my aunt is having her name dragged through the mud, which she is dealing with exceptionally, but I stumbled upon a forum where it was basically nothing but people bashing her. I am sure they would not like a public forum made entirely about how much people don't like THEM. She is honestly one of the kindest, big-hearted, awesome people I know.
And lastly, my boyfriends mom keeps calling to tell me every reason that God wants me to go to their church. I don't agree with their church. I have my OWN church. First of all, they don't believe in their pastors being formally educated, like in theology school. They apparently believe that those kinds of schools tell their students what to believe and not that they can learn the scripture through praying. I know that I am no expert because I go to culinary school, but while i was in middle and high school I got the privilege to meet some of the students of the local seminary college and I know that they are not told what to believe, only how to present it, write sermons, historical factors that aren't so apparent in the Bible, etc.
Also, they believe that women should not wear pants because in Deuteronomy 22 it says that women should not wear garments that pertain to a man. But what I guess they are not taking into account in her church is translation. When I researched that scripture and the words lost in translation, I found out that that verse was actually saying that women are not supposed to wear armor, which is what the garments the verse was referring to meant. There is nothing wrong with education!!! i guess I will write later!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

So...

I had a great dinner with my boyfriends family and a couple of friends from their church. It was delicious! Afterwards we shared some religious stories from our own lives. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Just wish my daughter was here for it. She was with her great grandma...
Anyway, I previously posted that I had made some delicious gumbo on Ash Wednesday... knowing that the previous day was Fat Tuesday. Just thought you should know that I renamed the day "Fat Ash Wednesday"!!! enjoy!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

sleepover!!!

This needs to be heard!

 No one has been able to explain to me why young men and women serve in the U.S. Military for 20 years, risking their lives protecting freedom, and only get 50% of their pay. While politicians hold their political positions in the safe confines of the capital, protected by these same men and women, and receive full pay retirement after serving one term. It just does not make any sense. Monday on Fox news they learned that the staffers of Congress family members are exempt from having to pay back student loans. This will get national attention if other news networks will broadcast it. When you add this to the below, just where will all of it stop?

35 States file lawsuit against the Federal Government Governors of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.

This is an idea that we should address.

For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

first follower and children in restaurants

Just finished making some delicious gumbo. I know its ash wednesday, but i do mardi gras on my time!

Good morning!

Good morning all! So this morning when I put my feet on the floor, I realized that the whole basement was flooded. Great. Now all of my clothes are soaking wet and I can't find anything for my daughter to wear. Awesome.
Well, on the plus side, I am having a conversation with my best friend. Sometimes it is great to just complain to each other. She literally has amnesia, and it is kind of funny the things she can and can't remember. It's sort of like that 50 first dates movie...
Guess I'm gonna go!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

In the beginning...

Hello all! I am trying this blog thing out. This is an open, honest, account of my life from my eyes. This is a christian blog, so please, if you are offended by something I say, don't read on! Today has been ok. my daughter is going through the toddler years and it seems like her favorite activities are... screaming, throwing tantrums, and disliking anything i do. Maybe when I get her up from her nap I will get her dressed and take her outside for some fresh air.
I started this blog because I couldn't really find anywhere to get answers on how to deal with my sometimes ... unique... situation. i am 21 and have a boyfriend. We have been together for 5 years. We have a daughter, and live together, sometimes. To tell you the truth, I dont really know if we will ever get married. We used to be on the same page about it all, and then our daughter was born. It changed everything. Now we fight all the time and his way of fixing things is to just never come back and get me from my mothers again. It is admittedly embarassing to live at my mothers with my daughter at my age, but it really seems like the best thing for me. (I believe that if I dont try to take care of myself, then i am not doing the best thing for my daughter. How can I be a good mother if I am constantly unhappy? I cant!)
Anyway, I got put onto some anti-depression medicine a few months ago, and I think it has taken a serious toll on my libido. I think God is dealing with my heart about actually having sex with him, but it is hard to even get up the desire to be affectionate AT ALL. I dunno.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful and prosperous day. God Bless!