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Thursday, March 31, 2011

He is heeeeeere

So much has gone on...

Oh guys!!!
So much has gone on. First, Michael has decided he doesnt really want a family, at least not with me. I usually would have begged him to come back, but I realized that I am over all this drama. So I immediately grabbed up my bestie and we went out dancing. I was supposed to meet this awesome guy for a drink, but it took us so long to get out that he didn't really have time. (More about Awesome Guy soon, as in... in this post)

So me and Chelle danced our faces off and I ran into some of my friends from high school and college, and had a blast. After the clubs, we went to a hotel my friend had rented for the night, and we watched some TV and just talked. Then Chelle and I went to McD's for some delicious after party food. All in all, it was a great night.

Back to Awesome Guy... we met when I was working at Pizza Hut about 3 years ago and he asked me for my number. I gave it to him because it seemed to take a lot of courage to ask. When I returned his call, I explained that I was in a deeply committed relationship and that I thought he was really brave, but I wanted to be friends. He was completely cool with that, so I knew he respected my relationship (i.e. Michael).

Flash forward 3 years, I got knocked on my ass by Baby Daddy and there was Awesome Guy! He took me on my first official date... well "not" date and we have seen eachother every day, except when I was in Arkansas (more to come on Arkansas... dif post), and even then we texted from when we woke up until we went to bed.

Last night he KISSED me!!!!! it was amazing, I'll spare you the gory details, but I def couldn't stop smiling. Actually, I'm smiling now!

More posts on Amazing Guy coming soon... I hope!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Reconnecting with old friends +Dancing on 4th st. With my friends till 3 + brakefast at mc donalds = great night! I needed this...

Friday, March 18, 2011

Video Bar

hey just thought I would try to direct your attention to the right where my video blog is. I put it there for a reason people! my personal fav is the acid lizard (click on "Drinking Out Of Cups") if you are easily offended, then you probably shouldn't click it, but it is sooo funny and worth hearing the multitudes of curse words. Anyway, if you would kindly direct your attention to my Video Bar, it would be greatly appreciated! I think it would give you more insight into who I am.
Happy vid watching!
I have been stuck in blog world and finally made it outside. It feels so good and is so pretty out here. Gotta love the smell of fresh cut grass!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

OOOOOK!

Here goes... I have a friend that I always considered a BEST friend, but now she seems so busy and never has time for me. I guess she discovered a new group of friends and is busy with work and school, but today she isn't working and just had 1 test so she had a short day at school and now is headed to the lake. This all probably sounds trivial to you guys but there was a point when I would have been invited whether she was with friends or family. I wonder if it is because I have a baby now? I am still a 21 yr old! I still like fun, and music, and movies and all the same things I liked before, only now I have a baby, so I like even more things. Having a baby doesn't mean I just suddenly get lame. Now that I think about it, I don't think it is because I have a baby because she has other friends with children that she still does things with, so now I am really confused. Blah! She even blows me off for video games. VIDEO GAMES! There was a time when we were younger (I guess) that I was invited on Spring Break with her and her family, and we would hang out every day. I am realistic. I know with me at home with the baby and her working and going to school there isn't tome to see each other every day, and we probably wouldn't even want to, but at least once a month? is that really too much to ask for? We live in the same town, it's not like we have to figure out a gas situation or something, just finding time for one another. Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is all just a matter of prioritizing. I was in a LDR with my boyfriend for the first 3 years, anytime anyone would tell me that they "just don't have time for a girlfriend/boyfriend," I would remind that you have as much time as me, if you find someone you want to spend time with, then you make time for them. It is really THAT simple.

So, onto my religious ramblings. I have been wanting to post this since I started blogging, but have been too afraid because I don't want to lose my followers. I have decided to stay true to myself and my beliefs and if you are offended by what I am about to write, please just respect me. If I lose any followers, I will inevitably  be sad. Anyway, I believe that being gay is a sin. The bible states it very clearly, and even goes as far as to compare it to sleeping with an animal. With that said, some of my favorite friends are gay. i do believe they are going to Hell, but I love the person, not all of their choices. Being gay doesn't make you any less of a human, you still have feelings, and a heartbeat, and a brain. But I believe that often times when you are living without Jesus in your life, you love according to what feels right, and not what is right according to scripture. The Devil puts thoughts into our minds and if we entertain them, then we sin. If we consciously try to live a life that is right to God, then we won't sin. Now, everyone sins, but we sin when we lend our ears to the Devil.
As i have previously posted, my boyfriend's family goes to a very strict church and when my friend is in town, they won't even let her in to use their bathroom. She is a HUMAN and deserves all the same dignities that you should give any other human. Anyway, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend's grandma the other day and she started in about my friend and said "I know that your friend is gay, but you know it is wrong, right?" I was floored! I said "Is her being gay any worse than me and your grandson living together and having a baby without being married?" All she could say was "What you guys did is more natural." A sin is a sin! I am no better than any sinner on this earth. Whether you lie, or cheat on your girlfriend, or sleep with someone of the same sex, or have a baby out of wedlock. My sin is no cleaner than any other sin. I hope I never judge someone else like I am better than them.
I really hope that you guys understand that what I am saying comes from my heart and I am not trying to be mean spirited. I love everyone, and hope that I never treat anyone any different than I think I should be treated.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Ugh!

So I can't get enough of this song called "Manifesto by City Harmonic", it is pretty much amazing. Also "This is the Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli and "Secrets" by OneRepublic. I am definitely a music person.
So there is all this stuff going on within my family. First, last night my boyfriend got fired last night, which other than wondering where money is going to come from, would have been OK, but now he won't talk to me about when the next time he will come see his daughter and me... which is, frankly, infuriating. All he was worried about was cleaning his house (which wouldn't be too bad of an idea if we didn't have so much to talk about).
Next, my aunt is having her name dragged through the mud, which she is dealing with exceptionally, but I stumbled upon a forum where it was basically nothing but people bashing her. I am sure they would not like a public forum made entirely about how much people don't like THEM. She is honestly one of the kindest, big-hearted, awesome people I know.
And lastly, my boyfriends mom keeps calling to tell me every reason that God wants me to go to their church. I don't agree with their church. I have my OWN church. First of all, they don't believe in their pastors being formally educated, like in theology school. They apparently believe that those kinds of schools tell their students what to believe and not that they can learn the scripture through praying. I know that I am no expert because I go to culinary school, but while i was in middle and high school I got the privilege to meet some of the students of the local seminary college and I know that they are not told what to believe, only how to present it, write sermons, historical factors that aren't so apparent in the Bible, etc.
Also, they believe that women should not wear pants because in Deuteronomy 22 it says that women should not wear garments that pertain to a man. But what I guess they are not taking into account in her church is translation. When I researched that scripture and the words lost in translation, I found out that that verse was actually saying that women are not supposed to wear armor, which is what the garments the verse was referring to meant. There is nothing wrong with education!!! i guess I will write later!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

So...

I had a great dinner with my boyfriends family and a couple of friends from their church. It was delicious! Afterwards we shared some religious stories from our own lives. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Just wish my daughter was here for it. She was with her great grandma...
Anyway, I previously posted that I had made some delicious gumbo on Ash Wednesday... knowing that the previous day was Fat Tuesday. Just thought you should know that I renamed the day "Fat Ash Wednesday"!!! enjoy!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

sleepover!!!

This needs to be heard!

 No one has been able to explain to me why young men and women serve in the U.S. Military for 20 years, risking their lives protecting freedom, and only get 50% of their pay. While politicians hold their political positions in the safe confines of the capital, protected by these same men and women, and receive full pay retirement after serving one term. It just does not make any sense. Monday on Fox news they learned that the staffers of Congress family members are exempt from having to pay back student loans. This will get national attention if other news networks will broadcast it. When you add this to the below, just where will all of it stop?

35 States file lawsuit against the Federal Government Governors of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.

This is an idea that we should address.

For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

first follower and children in restaurants

Just finished making some delicious gumbo. I know its ash wednesday, but i do mardi gras on my time!

Good morning!

Good morning all! So this morning when I put my feet on the floor, I realized that the whole basement was flooded. Great. Now all of my clothes are soaking wet and I can't find anything for my daughter to wear. Awesome.
Well, on the plus side, I am having a conversation with my best friend. Sometimes it is great to just complain to each other. She literally has amnesia, and it is kind of funny the things she can and can't remember. It's sort of like that 50 first dates movie...
Guess I'm gonna go!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

In the beginning...

Hello all! I am trying this blog thing out. This is an open, honest, account of my life from my eyes. This is a christian blog, so please, if you are offended by something I say, don't read on! Today has been ok. my daughter is going through the toddler years and it seems like her favorite activities are... screaming, throwing tantrums, and disliking anything i do. Maybe when I get her up from her nap I will get her dressed and take her outside for some fresh air.
I started this blog because I couldn't really find anywhere to get answers on how to deal with my sometimes ... unique... situation. i am 21 and have a boyfriend. We have been together for 5 years. We have a daughter, and live together, sometimes. To tell you the truth, I dont really know if we will ever get married. We used to be on the same page about it all, and then our daughter was born. It changed everything. Now we fight all the time and his way of fixing things is to just never come back and get me from my mothers again. It is admittedly embarassing to live at my mothers with my daughter at my age, but it really seems like the best thing for me. (I believe that if I dont try to take care of myself, then i am not doing the best thing for my daughter. How can I be a good mother if I am constantly unhappy? I cant!)
Anyway, I got put onto some anti-depression medicine a few months ago, and I think it has taken a serious toll on my libido. I think God is dealing with my heart about actually having sex with him, but it is hard to even get up the desire to be affectionate AT ALL. I dunno.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful and prosperous day. God Bless!